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Cartoon post- What having Anxiety and Depression disorders feel like. (Photo credit:Dr.Asky)

                                             (Photo Credit by:Dr.Asky.)
Dr.Asky FB page.

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Follow me around on BlogLovin'

Dear reads and people of the world wide interweb,
   I am now on Blog Lovin' where you can easily have access to my blog. This web site is amazing.




Follow me on Blog Lovin'

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Happy Holidays!!!

                                                               (Found on Pinterest)

Dear Readers/Followers/Friends,

    I'm writing this post for you guys,well because It seems like I haven't blogged in a while and also because for some reason,I can't seem to get my self on a blogging schedule (which I need to do.)
However,the main reason why,I am writing to you guys is to let you know that,I would love to wish you all a happy Holiday season this year.I know that holiday shopping can be successful,and holidays can be stressful in general for some people but just remember that at the end of the day,It's not about presents and materialistic items,it's about Friends,Family, Love and Laughter (a lot of laughter.) Remember to let your loved ones know that you love and care for them (because nobody is promised another day on earth and to just enjoy being surrounded with people that you love the most.) So with that being said,Merry Christmas,Happy Hanukkah,Kwanzaa,and Ramadan,and any others that I may have forgotten.
                                                                                  Love,Calin

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My anxiety.

                                                                 (Found on Pinterest)

Dear Friends,
   My anxiety has been getting worse,and worse.I can feel it just ,sucking all of the little bit of energy that I have left out.I swear living with a General Anxiety Disorder is like living in a place where your criticized about everything by everyone although,a lot of people do that anyway.To me anxiety feels like taking a huge step but at the same time not falling.Like,drowning but without an anchor to keep you from sinking to the bottom and the bad thing about it is,nobody cares.Like being homesick for a place that isn't home.My anxiety is triggered by worry.Worry that something isn't right,that something is out of place,that someone won't love me back,that my English paper isn't perfect.That the books on my shelf at home aren't in alphabetical order like,I like them or that my bed isn't made,or that my library books are a day late.Little things that most people would never care or think about,People with an Anxiety disorder care to much and think way to much about.It's like it's never ending to,like you just criticize yourself.You nit pick at every little bitty thing that you possibly could think of.It's so hard living with Anxiety because you never know when it will end or if it will ever end.you just want to be okay,I want to be okay,I will be okay.

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My Prince Charming.- AMWF edition.

(Picture found on Pinterest)

Dear Friends,

I've been thinking a lot lately and I've been thinking about love.Ever since I was little,I've always dreamed about wearing this beautiful white dress,and getting married to the man of my dreams.Which also had me thinking a lot about,The man of my "dreams".In every fairy tale,the men are always the same.Tall,light hair with dreamy eyes,besides Shang,He was tall and a very well handsome and drawn out cartoon prince but he was different than every other prince and in all of the correct ways.Which had me thinking,I don't want just a regular guy,that looks like he just walked out of a Fairy tale or a Calvin Klein ad.I personally feel like,Society tells us,"Don't date Asian men because of this,this and this.","However,what is the actual reason why ?? Since when and how,did the Asian male instantly become for some reason unattractive,rather than a white male ?? Is it because they're"Nerdy and Watch anime."Although my self would personally consider that a stereotype.Or is because of the penis stereotype?? That to me is a definite stereotype.Personally to me,as a white female.female. I've always been attracted to Asian men,from the time that I was like 6 years old,I've always like Asian boys.After growing up and also listening to people around give me dirty faces and saying Eww,"Their P***s is small." I have learned to say,"Why are you worried about his p**** anyway,it's not like your sucking it?" With the very frequent,"Fuck off,or Shut the fuck up." It can be quite annoying and when I was around the ages of 11-16,I tried to hide the fact that I like Asian boys,so I can fit in with my "Friends".Although,now that I am growing and maturing,I don't care.I don't care about what people say,or think.Let them think and say what they would like to,I am attracted to whom,I am attracted to and I will love,whoever I want to love.One day when I walk down the aisle,of my church and wear my fancy white dress that resembles Grace Kelley,and look up and see the man of my dreams,he will be more than likely be Asian.He will be the most handsome man that I've ever laid my eyes on and my best friend as well.Someday,I will be able to wake up in the morning,in my husbands t-shirt and make him breakfast while,I dance and sing around in the kitchen to The Rolling Stones and I will be able to travel the world with someone for the rest of my life for ever and ever,and I can't wait for those years to come.

P.S., We'll be the cutest couple at Starbucks someday.

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My Anxiety

September,30th 2015



      Dear Readers,
 


                     I'm sorry that I've been away for a while,It's been getting worse.My worry,My frustration.My problems,They've been getting worse.I look at the world in hope that someday,It will be okay,Someday I won't have to worry about everything and someday,everything will be relaxed and calm but,Then I look at them.They get worse,They all get worse.Rather it's love problems or health problems,Nothing seems to ever get better,It's like a roller coaster once your down the hill and you thing that everything is okay and then before you know it,your up that hill gain just waiting for it to get off of it's highest peak,and you try to breathe and relax and it's not helping.My anxiety,it's getting worse,which is also why I haven't blogged in a while,I'm sorry,I'm sorry for leaving you and I want you to know that It's okay,I'm okay,and that I'm going to try to make this a better blog,I promise,just give me a little time.

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Sorry I've been away for awhile.

6/11/2015

Dear Chickadees,

    I'm so sorry that I've been gone for the past few weeks (maybe even a month...woops.). I've been so busy that,it feels like I've been running around like a chicken with my head cut off.I'm FINALLY done with my junior year of highschool and I am now offically.....A SENIOR!!!! HOLLA!!!!.
I'm so excited to be a senior,I've been looking forward to this day...FOREVER!!! I also have cut my hair and dyed it since the last time I've written to you guys,I dyed it dark brown and it's cut short (way short.) I actually really love it know.My little brother is 2 months old now and is doing great. And,I'm not totally sure about this but,I'm thinking of starting an OFFICAL Youtube channel,I haven't decided on what to call the name of it,Although I did make a few videos under my real name just because,I have only uploaded like three videos though,I honestly just want to do youtube for a hobby nothing super fancy dancy,Tell my what you think that I should name it (It would be super helpful.) Also,Please give me some suggestions on what I should call this to,I can't decided on MissElainer or, MissCalin (Calin is my real name.....shhhh,lol) Well please comment at what you think I should call it,It would be so helpful,I can't wait to finally start blogging for you guys again since I am FINALLY!! not to busy,I love you guys so much,and am so excited.

                                                                            Love,Calin :)

P.S. What do you guys think that I should do on this blog,PLEASE!! give me suggestions,should I do more beauty things,more rants,more fashion stuff,or more boyband stuff...please give me some suggestions in the comment box.

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My favorite Vera Bradley items!!

                                      Well  Hello there Chickadees!!! Welcome back to my blog,Sorry that I've been absent for a quite a while,as I've had some life problems get in the way,However I'm back and can't wait to start blogging again!! If you all did't know,which you probably don't,I'm a HUGE Vera Bradley junkie....Vera is probably one of my favorite accessory designers and so I'd like to share with you all,what my favorite Vera Bradley things are.

1:Vera Bradley Lunch bags
   - I love my Vera Bradley Lunch bags,and I have the pink isolated lunch bag and it's amazing.The pattern is beautiful,and it's tiny enough to carry around but big enough to fit a proportioned sized lunch in,The lunch bags can be a little pricey but totally worth it.
2:Vera Bradley Wallets
 - I love love love my Vera Bradley Wallets,they're very accessible and convenient.I have five Vera Bradley wallets,in which I adore so much.They're fun and super colorful.Some of even have wrist bands on it so you can carry it around your wrist if you don't want to carry it in your purse.
3:Vera Bradley scarves-
  The scarves are super fun,cute and comfy.
4: Vera Bradley student planners- 
 They always get me super pumped and ready for school,and I love to carry it around,honestly,Vera Bradley office supplies is my favorite in general.
                                                                         Well those are my top favorite vera bradley things,that I ADORE!! Goodnight Chickadees...I'll see ya'll soon =)

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My worst week EVER!!!!

April,21st,2015

    Dear Readers,
       This is by far the worst week I've probably ever experienced in my life.It started off with this guy named Tom,Tom and I have been friends for a few months and insistently hit it off.So,we decided to take it to the next chapter and start dating.Well,we basically broke up not even a week later because,tom decided to post on his social media website,"That moment when you're texting someone and they don't text back." I instantly as his girlfriend thought,"Who is he texting like that??" So,I confronted him about it and he said and I quote,"It's was one of my buddies." That was a little strange considering the fact that he told me the day before that he couldn't text me because,his phone was "Broken." You know I should have known that Tom was no good when he didn't want to make it FB official because he wanted to tell his family.So,I decided to sink the ship before it sailed so that way,I wouldn't get even more hurt by this.He did delete the post but,now he is ignoring me not that I give a damn anyway because I really don't care what he does.It just sucks because he said that he loved me first and then look what happens?? And,to top it all off my boss e-mailed me today,without explanation and told me that he didn't want me to work for him because,"It didn't work out!"....It DIDN'T WORK OUT??? How fucking professional.I'm just so stressed out and just tired of this and now,I don't have any money either!!! Erggg,Lord help me...This week has been rough,

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Why Target is the best store ever!!!

April,10th,2015

Target is the best store ever!!

 Target is legit the best store ever,and not only do they have cute baggers named Alex but,they have legit everything.Even Starbucks!! Target has a wide variety of clothes,sports wear,home decor,and even food,For really low prices. It is literally my favorite store on earth,I got the cutest sandals there for 23 bucks,who could beat that ?? They have almost every clothing size there is and their clothes are really,really cute.So,Target is literally the best store ever and anyone who disagrees is wrong,okay you're not wrong but still.This store is amazing!!

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My bucket list!!

1:Go to Ireland
2: Live in Amsterdam
3:Meet Niall Horan
4:Marry my bestfriend
5:Visit London
6:Find my family in England
7:Have a baby
8: Stop Smoking
9:Become a "Lady"
10:Go on a no budget shopping spree
11:Visit the Anne Frank house
12: Go Zip lining
13:See Jimmy Buffett in Concert
14:Go sing Karoke
15:Lose weight
16:Get butt injections
17:Bleach my hair blonde
18:Get better at Twerking.
19:Stand up for peoples rights
20:Get my nose pierced
21:Be able to wear a two piece swim suit.
22:Visit Durham,where my family lives.

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50 Facts about me

50 Facts about me



April,4th,2015

1:My first name is Calin
2:I'm from a city called Indianapolis but,I was raised in a small town about 30 mins. away.
3:I love Vera Bradley,I'm like a Vera Bradley junkie
4:I love watching youtube videos
5:I love to listen to One Direction and George Strait
6:I want to get a Lily Scarf
7:I was born on September,30th
8:I love Mason jars
9:I want to go to Georgia State University,or the University of Georgia
10:For some reason,I really love Georgia
11:Peaches are my favorite fruit
12: I love to eat Frozen Yogurt
13:Someday,I want to be a Nurse for babies
14:I'm a practicing Roman Catholic.
15:I'm saving up to go to Ireland.
16:I believe in Jesus Christ
17:I love Boat shoes
18:I used to live in Tennesse from ages 2-5
19:I want to move back down South once I am older.
20:Even though I do want to go to school in Georgia,I am a huge LSU fan.
21:I love Cajun food,cause my daddy's family is from Louisiana and he makes really good cajun food.
22:Niall Horan is my Ultimate Celebrity crush.
23:I love to get my nails done
24:I am a natural red head (More redish blonde) but I dye my hair blonde.
25:I have a thing for Irish boys and I'm still not sure what it is.
26:My dream truck is a Ford F-150 4x4 super cab,lifted.
27:I grew up listening to Garth Brooks 
28:My favorite song ever is either Amazing grace by Elvis Presley or You are My Sunshine by Johnny Cash.
29:I love Pearls
30:I'd rather drink Sweet Tea over Starbucks any day.
31:When I was 5,I broke my arm
32:I love to read books
33:My dream dog is an Irish WolfHound
34: Chocolate is my weakness
35:I have really weird dreams about Niall Horan
36:I'm scared of birds in the room
37:My biggest fear is of Needles
38:I don't want any tattoos
39:My philosophy is the higher the hair then the closer to god.
40: I love Jimmy Buffet in the summer time.
41:I love listening to older blues artist such as Ray Charles and Etta James.
42:I think the beatles are okay,but I'm not in love with them
43:I love to randomly do my makeup
44:I like watching Bridal shows on TLC,just because.
45:I have a little brother
46:I love Harry Styles' Hair
47:My favorite holiday is Christmas
48:I know every word to Georgia on my mind.
49:I love Bath and Body Works Candles
50: I still don't own a pair of Toms.

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My little Brother

March 31st,2015

  My little brother is on his way.Today my mother went into labor with my little brother,yes,my baby brother.Him and I are 17 years apart.This little bundle and blessing of joy,that I am so so excited for as of right now.I can't wait until he gets here so I can hold and spoil him to death,wish her the best of luck and a good delivery!!!

                                                                            Love,Elainer

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Girl Talk Monday: Cramps!!

March,30th,2015
 A new segment that I am going to add to my blog is,Girl Talk Mondays.This girl talk monday,we're going to be talking about something that a lot of women and younger women go through all over this world,Cramps! I do know of some women that never get cramps (Lucky) but,I unfortunately do not have that sort of luck.My cramps are painful and ache throughout the entire day and sometimes even week.I can take Excedrin or Tylenol and it still won't help.The only thing that helps is a glass of red wine or some sleep.Sometimes,I can't even sleep.My cramps have never been so bad that I throw up.although I do know some people that do that.Hopefully,I find something that works.If you have any suggestions,you should leave them in the comment box below,it would help me and a lot of others,I am sure.
                                                                                        Love,Elainer

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Makeup Review: Kat Von D Lock it 24 hour Foundation.

March 29th,2015
  I am going to do a makeup review on a popular foundation,the Kat Von D : Lock it,Tattoo foundation. It is a 24 hour wear foundation,it is also very very full coverage.You literally only need not even a a full squirt on the foundation to apply it because with this foundation, it is very full coverage,if you use to much,it will began to become very very cake like on your face.If there is to much applied,it also will have a flaky texture and your face will look very dry,it also feels heavy with to much on as well.However,if you use just a small amount,with a primer and moisturizer.It goes on very smoothly and looks very great,it also covers all of the spot you don't want.A bonus about this foundation,it feels like there is concealer in it,there is so much coverage in this foundation,that you don't even need to apply a concealer before putting it on.I love this product,and I do recommend it to anyone that ask about it. Go to Sephora and get this foundation,it is totally worth the price.
                                                                                 XOXO Love,
                                                                                                        Elainer

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I have NO MONEY!!!

March,28th,2015
    Cash rules everything around me,CREAM is the money...Dolla,Dolla bills ya'll,Is NOT a song lyric that I can relate to by any means,I relate to more of,You're broker than a joke and you look like a poke (Don't think that is a song but,still.) Anyway,The struggle has been real for me lately because,I have NO money,I will admit that I can be somewhat materialistic,I am not so materialistic that I'd go as far as gold digging or anything like that but,I do love my M.A.C makeup and Shopping,and you know what is the worse feeling in the world,Wondering through a huge mall with no money.For me it is literally worse than a Heart Break,I want this and I want that but, nope can't have it...because I am broke.I got paid friday,and after my little bills that I have to pay,I have not a thing,I have 34 dollars left...34!! and I am supposed to go to the mall with my cousin on Thursday,this is legit the worst thing possibly ever!!! How will I cope,I feel like Carrie Bradshaw,with out a paycheck.Please Help me!! If you have Ideas on how to make extra Cash!! Thanks.

                                                                    XoXo Love,Elainer

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Book Review:The Color of Water

 

March,28th,2015

Book Review:The Color of Water

The Color of Water,Is a book written by James McBride,It tells the story about his mother Ruth McBride,A person that was left by her family because she wanted to marry the man that she loved and a woman who raised her children the best ways that she possibly could.Both of her husbands died,and she raised all of her kids basically by her self.This story tells an extraordinary bond between a mother and her children,and when asked what color god was she answered,"The Color of Water".This book is by far on of my favorite books that I have ever read,and I recommend anyone to read it.

                                        XOXO Love-Elainer

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Zayn Malik left One direction, 3-25-2015

March 25th,2015
As post of you,all around the world may already know.Zayn Malik has left the Boy-Band,One Direction after 5 years. Directioners all over the world have cried.Feeling Heart broken after One Direction basically has broken up,and I know that people say,"They haven't broken up,the other four are still there." However after being a Directioner,since the beginning it feels like the band it just ripped apart.It feels this way because,it's not the same,It's like having The beatles without Paul McCartney.One Direction has always been,Boo Bear,Dj Malik,Leeyum,Hazza and Nialler. All I know is,even though this time in the One Direction family may seem,painful and like life can't go on,Life will and Zayn will be there for them,while they continue to be the best Boy band in the world,he will just be the #1 fan in the arena cheering instead of being on the stage singing.This tragedy will get better,and If you even need someone to talk to,please don't hesitate to drop a message in my tumblr inbox.I am hear for all of you and we will make it through this together.

                                                                                                   XOXO Love,Elain3r

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